| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2010|08:50 am] |
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I really wish I didn't have to go to church here every sunday. |
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| brittney, britnee, mitchell, and brittany. |
[Feb. 4th, 2010|02:03 pm] |
sunday: brittney (bf/porterville/sacramento) surprise visited me at work! i was so stoked! i've missed her so much. =[ she was also pretty stoked to have gotten the very last of the caramel caribou (which is her favorite ice cream). she might be moving back to porterville and if she does, angelo is coming too! apparently for some reason he really likes this town. it works for him. brittney is trying to transfer to the zumies store in tulare as manager, so if she gets it, then they're coming back! so im stoked for that.
tuesday: i had text britnee (visalia) for closure on things between us, because whatever was happening between us was just dropped. it was never really done for good, or said it was. so i sent her a text message asking for closure over the subject of "us", so that i can just move on. basically, i got the response of "i don't know what the future holds, so i can say what will or will not happen. but i'm with someone right now and i us together for a long time. but i really don't want to lose your friendship because i love it and i love being your friend."
thats enough closure for me to at least stop thinking about it. it's been a constant thought for a long time in the back of my mind, and this should really do something about it. i mean, it has. i haven't thought about it since it happened. funny thing though, this is pretty much the same speech i got when i first asked her if she ever saw anything happening between us back BEFORE we were seeing each other. its like a polite "no, not right now". i guess i still have a shot, but at this point, i don't care. if we really had something, things more than likely would have turned out different in the first place. i hold no hope for this in the future. but if it happens, it happens.
mitchell also came to town. him and i went orange picking. it was a good time for us to just talk. we like to talk about moving in together in visalia, oranges, settlers, and just talk about all the things we used to do, like go on road trips, play frisbee, taco nights at chaguitos. after that, we came back to my house, ate dinner (where mom made the BEST cheese enchalada i have ever had), and then mitchell and i cleaned the kitchen and played settlers of catan with leah and katie. after mitchell let at 10:00pm, jared came over and we played settlers of catan again, but with daniel. i believe we played two rounds, then jared went home. i then stayed up pretty late, and i'm pretty sure i fell asleep on the phone while talking with brittany (texas/washington.
wednesday: not much happened here. quiznos for lunch, new green lantern came out, so i picked it up at the comic shop. worked. went to save mart after work. later that night, say like 1am MAYBE 2am, i was talking on the phone to brittany (texas/washington), and she's decided to come visit next month. she wants to go to disneyland, sooooooooooooooo we may just do that. i'm more than sure leah would be down. =P give me an excuse to get my pass like i said i would, haha. but she's pretty stoked and so am i. we've known each other for almost two years now and hit off our friendship really well the night we met on last.fm. so i have that to look forward to now. =]
this update is long enough. i'll save other things i'd talk about for another entry in a week or two. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|02:48 pm] |
let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go. it's the little things that make it hard to.
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i bought these blackest night pint glasses last night for my brother steve for his 30th birthday (which was the 18th). i'm totally going to get these for myself on my next paycheck. =] |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2010|11:10 pm] |
2009's top artists for, according to last.fm
i hate all these ads on here now. its annoying that i have to wait for them to load and play for 4 seconds to be able to close them out and do what i want to.
there has been a lot of rain this week, and i really love it.
being vegetarian has been a pretty fun experience so far.
i want to move out for the sake of moving out and not living at home.
i get the feeeeeeeeeelin' i'm going to be such a big brother to my siblings this year. i don't know if thats in a good way or a bad way. hahaha |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 7th, 2010|06:50 pm] |
as per my yearly update on january 7th
happy 6 year friendship anniversary, alexi!
played settler's of catan for the first time in a few years, today.
i won.
YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|04:34 pm] |
this last year wasn't so bad.
(clicking the picture will take you to the facebook album where you can see larger, individual pictures and read the descriptions)
lots of ups and downs, but looking back, i really have no regrets. i dealt with the aftermath of a break up, i felt the Spirit of God remove sickness from my body, i felt a way for a girl that i hadn't felt since i was 16, i lost that feeling when she dumped me, i felt God move in my heart as never before, i went on the best date ever that lasted 10 hours, i got tattooed with my older brother tim, i made a few new friends, saw many old ones, saw WARREN, saw many amazing shooting stars and meteor showers, wasted time, had beer for the first time, missed a lot of people, saw ISIS(!!!), spent way too much money on records, i was there for friends when i could be (i hardly ever have the opportunity to be), i pained a lot, i healed a lot, i slept a lot, i grew a lot.
i understand that 2009 for a lot of people really sucked and already claim this this year sucks so far. i plan on making the best of every situation, loving more on everyone, and overall having a positive outlook on life. my perspective on a lot of things have changed and i couldn't be happier about it. i plan on looking back at 2010 this time next year and being able to have no regrets once more. i'm sure i wont remain positive at every moment of every day, i'm sure i'll complain a lot, and i know a lot of things wont go the way i want them to. but where it counts, i'll look at the better side of things.
this year, the glass will be half full. hopefully it stays that way come the following years.
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|02:28 pm] |
For the first time ever, I had a friend from out of town come to my house to visit ME specifically. She just decided to come see me. I go on so many road trips to see people, that I've never felt the blessing of someone driving HOURS just to visit me, for no real reason at all except just for fun. Not that I'm taking for granted all the times shuk has come to town, but that's different. He's friends with my whole family and he would come here even if I weren't in town (not that I don't like that, like I said, its just different). But being on the other side and having someone visit me... I really appreciated it. It was so random and nice. I really hope my friends appreciate and love my visits as much as I appreciated and loved yesterdays visit. I always go to people. It was a nice change to be on the other side. I almost didn't know what to do with myself.
The new year is approaching very quickly. A new decade. New changes. New friends. New job(s). New love-interest(s). New decisions to make. New places to travel. New things to experience. New reasons to hurt. New reasons to heal. Am I spelling "new" right? I've typed it so many times that it doesn't even look like a real word, anymore. New dreams. New homes. New tattoos. New records. New family members (hopefully someone gets married). New reasons to get up in the mornings. New car (at least my first one). New responsibilities. New bills. New fulfilled prophecies. New church to attend. New things to learn about myself. Same God to guide me through it. A lot happens in ten years.
Leah and I are going vegetarian next year EXCEPT our birthdays, thanksgiving and christmas. It'll be an experience. Haha hopefully a GOOD experience. I sure am going to miss my tacos and famous dave's burgers, though. =( |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|02:33 pm] |
"John Elderedge said personality begets personality. I mean, all of the things that we are born naturally with, shouldn't they have an origin? Could an explosion create a personality or a desire or love? No, only love could come from love, and unless that explosion knew how to do that, I don't believe it created me. I have nothing in common with explosions. I can't imagine an explosion being able to think like me or feel like I do. I can't imagine an explosion being more intelligent than I am. As a grain of sand cannot produce honey, neither can a great collision produce courage or fear or an imagination."
that's just part of this blog post my friend Stephanie wrote back in 2007 on myspace. i've gone back and read it more than twice since 2007 when she posted it and every time it feels like the first time i'm reading it. it's kind of long, but not really. i still wanted to share it with anyone who would want to read it.
( love and the story behind it )
a few nights ago i had another dream where i was praying for someone and healing them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|09:04 pm] |
i had a dream the other night that i met a man who had lost the fingers on his right hand. i then placed his hand flat between both of mine and prayed over it, and his fingers grew back.
"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father."
John 14:12-13 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|12:00 am] |
happy 21st birthday to my [original] ladies, ellen and alexi glines!
I remembered right as I looked at the clock change. I hope you gals have the best. LOVE YOU BOTH! =]
perhaps an update in the future on life happenings (as if such really matters). |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2009|01:29 am] |
im listening to the new Evergreen Terrace album "almost home" and its seriously so good. i forgot that they were one of my most favorite bands for the latter 3 years of my high school life and maybe a year into college. they kind of just dropped off the map as far as my favorites went. but this album feels so good and tugs on those old strings. listening to this album just reminded me of how much i loved them then and then i realized how long ago that was.
high school was a long time ago.
i think it would be totally dope to get the 5 year old me, the 12 year old me, the 17 year old me and myself right now, all at a table. just so i can see what i was like then and compare to who i am now. seriously, if i asked myself "whats going on in your life right now?" at those ages, theres no telling what answers i would get. i would tell the 5 year old me to cherish being young and not worry about my sister eating the ice cream. i would tell the 12 year old me that i wouldn't always be chubby and that i still have a lot of friends to go through before i find some sweet solid ones. i would tell the 17 year old me that i look super ridiculous and that im going to change a lot in the coming years, and that 19 would be the best age i'd live for a good time to come. and to really cherish every moment from the beginning of '07 through summer '08.
then we could all get a picture together and i would frame it and put it on my wall. that would probably be the best. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2009|12:53 am] |
i feel very used and lead on. not in the sense that i was used, but all used up. drained of energy. not that she did this on purpose, shit just happens. i hate putting myself into something and it just going away. i had a lot of hope for this; it seemed like such a perfect thing to happen. but i suppose hope is all it was. perhaps something will happen in the future but i'm really not counting on it. or hoping for it at the moment. just let it be, let it be. i'd rather not date a girl who has underlying feelings for her ex, anyway. i guess this works out. and thanks for not telling me like a week ago and just torturing me by hardly speaking to me. i could have been over it and hittin' on some hawt bab3z at CBU. or something. or just over it.
i feel very discouraged. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2009|03:01 pm] |
dear future-wife,
i miss you. i hope we meet soon.
with all the love reserved for you,
your future-husband. |
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[Sep. 15th, 2009|09:06 pm] |
Great. Now I'm living with regret.
If I could go back in time, I would seriously stop myself from dating lauren.
[edit]
it was a momentary regret. i learned a lot from that relationship. everything happens for a reason. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2009|05:26 pm] |
semi-went on a date last night? sort of? (she really wanted me to be there with her at this drum circle thing and share the first experience with me. sounds like a date to me.) i wont write all about it. i had a lot of fun and it was a very enjoyable night in pleasant company, that ended with her and i sitting on a curb, eating cheese and drinking slurpees.
i will say, though, that my favorite part was sitting up on a lookout sky gazing tower thing and watching rocketman on my ipod and sharing ear buds with her. we sat for a while watching it, then switched to laying on our bellies and i put the ipod between the boards to stand up and we watched it from there, giggling every 5 minutes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2009|12:02 am] |
happy 20th birthday gabby! i love you!
i was suppose to play hide and seek tonight but that fell through and NOBODY TOLD ME!
i didn't get to talk to britnee much today and that bums me out.
i did, however, talk to kelley. surpriiiiisssseeee.
i miss brittney. i think i am going to go visit her soon, as well as my brother steve.
i miss warren. as always.
i miss tia. i hope i see her soon.
i don't see my friends enough.
i can't wait until the weather gets cold.
i really need to live somewhere that's cold frequently. reykjavik?
i still need to go for walks.
it still feels weird being 21. i know i have been for 3 months now, but still. its weird to look back. haha and it wont get any less weird, because im only getting older.
i feel like my apology was accepted out of pride, because she didn't say it was accepted or acknowledge that i forgave her. she only said she was waiting for it but thought it would never happen. i feel like i really shouldn't have talked to her, but whats done is done.
i've apologized.
i've forgiven.
onward and upward. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2009|12:32 pm] |
i stepped in gum the other day. its really discouraging when you notice it and pick up your foot like a foot and a half off the floor and its stringing the entire way. if you chew gum, don't spit it out in a parking lot where people walk. or just don't spit it out unless its in a trash can. i hate finding gum in places it shouldn't be. it makes people like me angry. its also pretty gross and a pain in the butt to clean off.
i may have a date on sunday night? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|01:29 am] |
"you can't change lives if you're sitting at home".
God totally just bombed this on me like 15 minutes ago while I was laying in bed listening to some tithemi sermons I downloaded a while ago. I was just thinking about how I can start loving others more and being a tool of God and showing others His love and glory. being an example. I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen, but He totally just threw it in me that I need to start walking around. it starts there.
He also told me theres some forgiving I need to do.
making yourself vulnerable to the Spirit of God is dope. |
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