|
[Mar. 26th, 2009|11:11 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the flaming lips - the gash | ] |
yesterday was a weird day. i had one of those feelings that just brought me down. eventually, i left the house and went to the store to get a hug or two from my parents, because thats always a good feeling. after hanging around there for a while, i decided to go to panda express and get something to eat. there, i ran into the EMT that was my proctor for my patient assessment exam. i asked him a few questions about getting my ambulance license, and he went on his way. it was cool, because he remembered me, too. anyway. i got my panda bowl and i went home, got a lawn chair and an ibc root beer, sat on my roof, and ate. after i was done, i was up there for about an hour or forty-five minutes just sitting there. the weather was nice, and there was a cool breeze coming through. i forgot about my fortune cookie, so i opened it.
in a way, that was a serious relief. im not too into those things, but that helped ease my day. shukwit and MAYBE danny are(danny is not coming. =() is coming to visit this weekend/tomorrow. im really excited, because whenever shukwit is around, its a good time. and we'll be seeing and spending time with him AGAIN next weekend, when leah and i go down for facedown fest. that fortune just said to me "yeah, today may suck and you may feel this way right now, but it wont be this way forever". it didn't tell me that audibly, but if it had a voice it would have.
the reason i was feeling all weird, was this girl. surprise right? anyway, im not going to write everything in here, but basically there were some mutual things shared between us, and yesterday i felt like it was diminishing on her side. i felt like she really wasn't that into it, that she could probably just be leading me on and blah blah blah, because the last times this happened, things didn't end up so well. every time i've come across a girl that i've tried to pursue, i get shot down. so its like... whats stopping that from happening again? but thats a risk you always take. its just not a fun feeling. i started feeling a bit better when she called me just to tell me that her text messages weren't going through. what really just made me feel better, was hearing her voice. you may think its lame, but it was calming. i was talking to my friend brittany about it all day and how i just feel weird and as if she's really uninterested. but that changed last night.
last night, her and i had a pretty long conversation about... well, the future of where things could be going with us. we admitted that we're really interested in each other, and they aren't little crushes. i told her how i feel like i've come in at the wrong time, with her situation (she wants to move to lebanon this summer). she said not to even think about that when thinking about starting anything, because theres a chance she wont move. that her moving doesn't revolve around her life, and when the time comes, it'll depend on how things have changed. she said that if i dont want to pursue something, that i should tell her. i told her i want to, but i didn't know if she were interested so i was giving it time. but basically, its come down to us getting to know each other more. we've only really been talking for a little over a week. granted, its been nonstop texting from morning till midnight. but yeah. it feels weird pursuing this way, because i've always pursued a girl not knowing how she felt or thought about it or anything. it feels weird to be actively pursuing a girl and knowing that something could definitely happen, and it not be a huge gray area where i have no information on whats on the other side or what im going through. i still dont know what will happen, but i feel better about it than my previous endeavors.
but like i've been telling everyone (mostly leah's boyfriend, jake): we'll see what happens.
 |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
crimson_hunter's journal
